CPR Class

I got my CPR & First Aid certificate today! I'm glad. The class was a bit annoying though, since it could have been compressed into 3 hours instead of the 9 hours it took! I finally just said, "Can I just take the test? I know this material already and don't want to review it." So they let me leave 45 minutes early and take the test but then I had to stay and wait! I wished I had just asked about taking it early earlier than I did! I got 100% though on both the written and the CPR skills test so I was really excited because it helped to know I CAN help someone if they ever need it.

This was something I wrote on my phone during a break.

We speak in nuances buried upon nuances. We never say something simply even if we believe we just said a simple statement.

We laughingly say, "You got me." Or we say with a note of awe, eyebrows raised slightly, "The sunset was beautiful." Rarely do we say something without at least betraying our emotions.

Yesterday, I was told I had an expressive face by a classmate. I didn't think that I did but I guess I do? And apparently, it helps classmates understand what my "verbal" tone is when the interpreters don't get it through aptly enough at times (even though their voice-interpreting may have been 100% correct.) How much do I betray that I am unaware of?

The class was held at the Hearing, Speech, and Deafness Center (HSDC) in Seattle. This was also where I went to the program PIP (parent-infant-program) with my parents as a baby. I mentioned that to someone who worked there (Karen?) and she gasped. She then excitedly led me through the remodeled building to a room I had a sensation of familiarity in. On the walls hung pictures and one of the pictures showed the 1989 PIP people. There I was, sitting on my father's lap. I was surprised to see they STILL had pictures from 19 years ago. Karen asked me if we could talk later, since she was interested in finding out what happened to the kids from PIP for follow-up studies. I asked how many children in the PIP program had cochlear implants or if those kids went to Children's for therapy and as a result didn't go to PIP. She said two children in the program had implants but were learning ASL (PIP teaches people ASL and assists with early-intervention). The rest weren't implanted. Cued speech (a system of representing a language's sounds/phonemes visually) was also occasionally taught there in addition to the various types of sign.

This struck a cord in me, thinking of children who could be speaking and being able to keep up with friends in groups in the future, who weren't. So later, I called the center and acquired the phone number and email of the director of PIP. I emailed her asking if I could speak to the parents there about my experiences growing up deaf, things that helped me, and my opinion of having a cochlear implant. I REALLY hope they allow me to speak there and this is definitely something I will pursue because I feel it is SO essential that those parents get all possible perspectives and understand how much a cochlear implant does but also how sign language is beneficial. I do understand it's a sticky situation because there is a lot of controversy and the fact these parents are already in PIP kind of suggests the route they're considering. I don't claim to know all the answers nor would I presume to, but I really think cochlear implants are THE way to fully ensure your child is involved in the world around them.

Cochlear Implants & Deaf Culture

How hectic it's been lately! School started today. I found that while I know where all the buildings are now and can even direct someone to a building easily, managing my time isn't quite as easy. Sigh.

I know someone who is getting their wisdom teeth out and that person was talking about how they were afraid. I sympathetized but felt bad for the immediate reaction I had in my mind which was this:

Afraid of a simple dental procedure? That is NOTHING compared to consenting to getting your head drilled into, for an implant you hope you'll like but which you really have little clue as to what to expect and where you received 10 stitches and two permanent bumps on your head.

I find that after receiving the CI, I am less worried about other procedures that I or others might have done to us. I also find that the CI has empowered me in other odd ways. I'm more confident about my choice to make decisions because I made what is one of the biggest decisions of my life and I haven't regretted it for a single moment. Some people thought I would but I haven't. Like I say, "The only thing I regret is not having done it sooner."

I was texting with Tess, who I've known since I was 6 months old and who is profoundly deaf. She uses interpreters in school when she goes to school. She said, "I still can't believe you got an implant. I wouldn't have!"

I really can't relate to that sentiment at all, which simultaneously saddened and excited me. Saddened because it is yet another distinction of how I am far removed from the "deaf culture" and excited because I really am that much different than the usual "mindset." I don't mean this in a bad way at all. I am an advocate of sign language (for babies as well!) but I am not an advocate of it when it is used alone.

Many deaf people seem more receptive to the CI than in the 90s. When I tell a Deaf person I have an implant, they immediately ask, "Does it work?" then "Doesn't the constant sound drive you crazy?"

Then of course I get high-spirited and tell them of how much the CI has changed my life and how happy I am I have it. Then the usual reaction I get is one of interested listening and then a statement of how it wouldn't benefit them but it's good I like it. At least they aren't shutting me out. I just constantly wonder, "Do I REALLY think that differently? Why aren't more prelingually deaf people getting implants or at least as curious as I was that it bothers them everyday wondering "What if"?"

There is a slang word that exists in culture today- "Oreo," signifying a black person who is white on the inside. There is actually also a sign in the deaf culture for a deaf person that thinks like a hearing person and is usually integrated in the culture. It is the sign for "hearing," but signed near the forehead to signify they are "hearing-in-their-mind." This person usually doesn't have much sense of deaf culture or chooses to live outside it.

I've been called "hearing-in-the-mind" and finally began identifying myself as "hearing-in-the-mind" when deaf people would ask me if I was deaf, hard of hearing, or hearing. It was ample enough to summarize why I sign in Exact English, why I write and read as well as I do, as well as to explain the fact I (wanted to and now have) an implant which makes me uniquely both deaf and hearing.

There is no word like this in hearing culture. I have to explain I can't understand speech yet, although I hear the fan whirring above us and their voice as they ask, perfectly. I have to explain I don't use ASL. It gets tiring explaining but even tiring when people automatically assume that I use ASL because I am deaf and I never get a chance to explain so I have to find a way to slip it in there somewhere.

I feel a constant worry when meeting new people who have taken ASL classes or who think they know things about deaf people, about making sure those people know I'm NOT in the deaf culture because I fear being grouped and as a result, assigned traits that I don't even possess.

But what is unfortunate is that I believe, in order to have people listen to you, they have to feel they can relate to you. (which is probably why Obama is so popular right now, as a side note!) I want to get through to the deaf population about the usefulness of cochlear implants and about other things they might not be huge fans of. I can personally switch over to following deaf culture and customs, to signing ASL if need be, but I can never truly give myself over to it.

I used to have some people criticize me greatly for that but it seems that the deaf culture and the hearing culture, over the years, have learned how to soften both their positions and find a more common ground. I'm glad to see that because there are advantages to BOTH so there's no reason to have just one if you can have the other as well.