Monday, November 3, 2008

Is it a matter of BEATING machine (in which case it is impossible)? Or beating my brain (in which case, my brain just has to learn)?

I am so frustrated with the pitch test right now.

I want to be the best and I won't settle for less.

Hearing aid can hit "normal" for the pitch, alone. Implant hits the pitch deficit. It can't even get to low-normal.... with them combined, my brain is confused. It does well but not great.

I sit with laptop on lap, homework laying beside me undone, obsessively taking the pitch test, over and over. I close my eyes when I have to, because while I hear the pitches loud and clear, I can't place which is higher or lower for some of them. Then I realize, I've pressed the spacebar to repeat perhaps a little too much in my strained effort to distinguish which is which. So I go with my instinct.

I let the silence fall like waves back to the sea, because I suspect the electrodes in my brain aren't firing FAST enough to jump from the previous pair to the next. Then I hit the spacebar. Usually, it's clearer when I've had a second of silence to let my brain wipe the slate clean.

I WILL get this.

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