Oooo!

I was browsing the forums at www.hearingjourney.com/forums, which is the Advanced Bionics (a company that manufactures implants). Someone had mentioned this AWESOME site that has features I've been looking for FOREVER! Basically, you can listen to pairs of similar words as many times as you want to and then test yourself to see if you can distinguish the difference.

I listened to "very" and "ferry" and tested it out ten times. I got it correct ten times! It's really thrilling that I can do this with a hearing aid. I don't seem to have very good auditory memory, since I have to really rely on lipreading and don't really recognize my name, ever, when I hear it. I scored a 70% on speech comprehension WHEN GIVEN A CHOICE BETWEEN WORDS. But I find that when I'm encountered with the millions of possible words people use, not just two or even three, I can't seem to do it. But this at least gives me hope. It's a site that I can practice over and over with, because honestly, who would want to repeat the same few words for me over and over? :P I know people want to help but not everyone has time or the patience to do this, so this site is really a blessing. I added it to the "awesome sites" column. It's http://www.manythings.org/pp/

I really am finding the forums a great help. It's truly nice to connect with people who can help out or give tips, even if my case is pretty untypical.

Oddly, I have a headache right now and all sounds were annoying me earlier, so I'm not sure if I'm just in a weird mood. So, currently I'm in my room, with the door shut, with some delicious cranberry juice. I might just take some aspirin and a nap and see if things look up later.

On another note, I'm afraid I'm boring my boyfriend (and emphasizing my difference, in the process!) by talking so frequently about the new sites I've found or the fact I can tell the difference between "wait" and "wet," when this is SUCH a "normal" thing to be able to do.... but as Neil Armstrong said, "This is one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."

However, for me it's the OPPOSITE! It's one small step for mankind, since comprehending words really isn't that significant to people (until they lose their ability to do it, of course), but it's one BIG step for me. I look forward to more "big steps."

I really can't wait now, whereas in these previous months I had been largely ignoring it, fearing its possible impacts on me.

To use an analogy: I really can't keep myself in a dark room and pretend no light bulb exists. I KNEW all along the light bulb was looming right above me, patiently waiting to shine; I was just too afraid to flip the switch.

It seems that so much could go wrong- the light bulb DOESN'T turn on or it does emanate a light, only to be ridiculously dim, and you're made even more aware of what you're missing, instead of just dealing with that completely dark room that you dislike greatly but at least are used to. I'm still more nervous than excited.