Sunday, June 22, 2008

Part 2 of Update (5 days postop)

(Lovely 80s hair thanks to the bandage. This is me after they changed my bandage day after surgery and I'm holding the removed bandage... complete with the blood!)

So, the days following the surgery, my head didn't hurt THAT much, but that was mainly because I was so faithfully being administered medicine by Ian. But nights and early mornings were worse, I'd say. It was hard to find an easy position to sleep in and it often would flare up at night for some reason. Then when I'd wake up it was like my head had a reaction to the changing-of-positions that is waking up. But, it is now Sunday, nearly a WEEK after surgery already!! And my head has some trivial aching if I touch the stitches or the area around it. It's still a bit tender. I felt a little dizzy all day yesterday, but not OVERLY dizzy. I'm glad I have an appointment on Tuesday so I can ask them about this. Moving my head side to side doesn't cause any dizziness but it does cause my head to swim for a second. This morning, I put my finger in my left ear and WOAH. The room soared.

Nice, I can alter my sense of reality just by putting my finger in my ear.

It doesn't do that now though. It does hurt if I lie on that side though, but it's not a serious pain. It's just ..pain. The threads from the stitches itch my ear sometimes because they're kind of long and knotted off!! That was driving me crazy last night and the night before, but now it doesn't seem to be a problem.

Thank you to everyone who left a comment or was thinking of me or helped out in some way :) My journey is just starting!!! I am a cyborg, but not a fired-up one yet. Tony Stark, (Iron Man) get out of the way....

Activation is scheduled for July 1st. I don't think that it's to allow my head to heal, since I've heard of people getting activated very soon after surgery! I think it's more that their time flexibility is pretty tight and the Mappings take 3-4 hours each.

My goodness, I can't wait. But I'm also really nervous. But so far, I WANT to say I've noticed improvement, even without it being activated. I have NO clue how this would work. Maybe it's the "power of the mind" or maybe it's the nerves being momentarily startled, stirring to life by the gentle prod of the electrode array that is now in my cochlea. Whatever it is, sounds seem more To give an example, leaves and rocks still don't have the refreshing crunch-crunch that I imagine they should, but it seems more CLEAR where it's coming from and as though more of the intricateness of sound has been opened up to me. Dare I say, I hear more individualness than just a "whole" sound.... this is what I really aspired, hoped, wished for, with the surgery, because this will allow me to possibly learn some speech.

The other day, my father, sister, and I were taking a walk through this woody area. I was walking ahead of everyone, watching the dog bounce from bush to bush, and I heard my dad speak loudly. "Tasha." I turned around. It was a moment of surprise for both of us. It didn't automatically register as my name, but it didn't require much THINKING. It was almost like my mind processed it before I could, which is a huge difference.

What? What am I saying? Am I building myself up for too much? Perhaps- I'm still making sure I keep a rein on reality and on "low" expectations. But what could be the cause of this heightened sense of sound? And will it last? Only time will reveal.

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